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Creating your own “Dirk Diggler Revelation”

In the film Boogie Nights, aspiring “actor” Mark Wahlberg attends his first Hollywood party. At the end of the night he finds himself in the hot tub with a young John C. Reilly and adult film producer “Jack”, played by Burt Reynolds.

He then reveals his vision of his new identity:

“I want a name that can cut glass… like razor sharp. When I close my eyes I see this big sign, and the name is in like bright blue neon lights with purple outline. And this name is just so bright, and so sharp that the sign… It just blows up cuz the name is just so POWERFUL!”

“It says DIRK DIGGLER.” <Neon sign of the name Dirk Diggler explodes into flames>

I call this The Dirk Diggler Revelation.

The Diggler Revelation is a lucid vision of what we dream for ourselves that is so sexy, and so powerful that if it were written in neon, it would literally blow the hell up.

And when we hold that vision, we ourselves may either burst into tears of gratitude for having realized it, or into flames, from the passion it ignites within us.

It’s a moment of self-realization and discovery so intense, that time slows and your eyes dilate like the last 3 seconds of Avatar: Jake Sully’s massive Navi eyes, stretched across an IMAX, snapping permanently wide awake in his new destiny.

This is now the whole of you, and all you have to do now is catch up to the vision.

Piece of cake, right?

I’ve had several Diggler Revelations over the years, whenever the next phase of my human journey presents itself. Gayle would probably tell you it has driven her nuts here and there, with my bed sheet cape tied tight around my neck, and my stick sword pointing boldly toward the future…

“I’m not that guy anymore. I’m this guy. <thumbs to chest>. From here forward I shall be known as a….”

Touring Bassist. Father of 2. Songwriter. Regional Sales Director. Marathoner. Father of 3. Entertainer. Entrepreneur…

Each of these roles first manifested as choice of whether to commit fully, to go ALL IN. They would require sacrifice and an inordinate amount of time to develop the skills to pull them off. When the new role presents itself, it always takes a big leap of faith (as well a new level of confidence that my vision was even correct).

There’s always an initial fear in identifying a new potential in ourselves. What if we fail miserably? What if we hurt other people by not coming through?

My personal favorite is “What if there’s just not enough time to be any good at it?” Often we don’t even get time to decide, and we’re thrown into the center ring. I most recently experienced this in my shift from Father of 2 to Father of 3. We weren’t exactly prepared for our son Leon, we just had to upgrade our home and our commitment to accommodate this little Trubbie-head.

And wow, what an exponential payoff.

Through all of my own trial and error, (and error, some nice wins, and more refinement), I’ll give you my best advice:

Assume that you’re the type of person who always shows up. Who finishes what they start. Who comes through for other people, if for no other reason than it’s who you are.

Once that little twinge of fear or doubt passes and we COMMIT, we’re rewarded with lush, new experiences. We rock bigger crowds. Our heart explodes as we hold our new child. We build a home. Our legs endure more and more miles. Our sales territory catches fire.

People see in us what we always had a hunch could be there.

All of that begins with our own version of The Dirk Diggler Revelation.

A couple weeks back I prepared a fairly exhaustive plan for a business I was hoping to create. It took me a solid 10 days to pull all the details together. It would be complex and expensive to get rolling, but I was pretty confident I could pull it off. As part of the entrepreneurial training I was attending, I shared my personal back story, followed by my business idea with the group.

The business idea felt overly complex and expensive, while my back story made me come alive. I spent the rest of the day riveted by the other members’ back stories and epic plans that made them come alive.

The following morning I was set to wake up at 6:00am for a run in Central Park. Except my eyes snapped open at 5:00, and there was no chance of falling back asleep.

I processed everything that transpired the previous day. Why wasn’t I completely feeling it? What was I missing?

A couple questions I loved from the personal survey were “What do people thank you for? What makes you come ALIVE?” 

My (very honest) answers to those were:
1) dropping fat bass grooves
2) raising peoples’ vibes

People thank me for both, and both make me come ALIVE.

I lay awake in the dark of the pre-dawn Manhattan morning. Still nothing…

I felt like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation. Triple checking every fucking bulb and fuse, punching plastic Santa in his fat, jolly head. What was I MISSING?!?!?!?

But wait, my girl Helen was in the garage… She discovered the correlation between the light switch and power outlet…

All at once, my inner screen exploded to life in bright blue neon, with a purple outline: I’m not here to run a website, or a business from behind the scenes. I’m here to be a Spiritual Development Catalyst for the Digital Age!


How was I the last person to really see and accept this? It’s what just about every person who knows me well sees in me. It’s getting easier to admit how afraid of this commitment I was. It felt like Good Will Hunting the janitor, dropping wild algorithms on the chalkboard, and then going back to anonymously mopping floors.

For shit’s sake, Kristoffer. Take your own advice and remember who you are. Better yet, fully step into it and own that shit. The world needs us to be who we are. Do not EVER, EVER forget that. Other people can mop floors or push spreadsheets.

So I am here to make personal & spiritual development COOL. That is my mission on Earth for the foreseeable future.

And so, that is my own most recent Diggler Revelation. I can’t express just how many remarkable signs have appeared since then, letting me know I have chosen….wisely.

When we’re in tune with the whole of us, embracing our unique mission to serve the world around us, it’s fully apparent that we live in a BENEVOLENT UNIVERSE.

All doubt, all resistance, all second guessing fades away like phantoms. We are left with what Deepak Chopra calls our pure potentiality, our essence.

Sure, there’s work to do in whatever new identity we create. But if it’s work we LOVE to do, work we were CREATED to do, isn’t that really an honor?

Isn’t that kind of kickass?

Isn’t all of this a MASSIVE GIFT?

Please share your Dirk Diggler Revelations. Anything recently?Anything you need help clarifying?

Much love to you all.


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7 Responses

  1. Or, as the prophet Matt Damon says in "We Bought a Zoo," – sometimes it just takes 20 seconds of insane courage. You used your 20 seconds well, my friend – you're on your way!

    1. Ha! Thanks a lot Karen. Really appreciate all of your support.

      You, ALRIGHT?!?!? I learned it from watching YOU.


  2. I love that you just say it's "who you are." Because people don't think they have it in them. They think others are "special." But we all are "special." 100% of us. Almost 0% realize that though. But I guess that's why you are around, isn't it KC?

    1. Right on Chris, so cool you picked up on that. I honestly know that to be true, that we can train ourselves to ONLY SEE that potential in others, and in ourselves. Compared to the standard zero-sum/scarcity mentality, I'll take the higher view anydamnday. It's my MISSION to help people view others through this lens.

      Happy you're part of my journey, brother.


  3. Love back atcha! Great storytelling. I can feel the excitement reverberating from here.

    Your fan,


    1. Thanks, girl. That means so much coming from you. I gotta lotta ideas, The Fire to see it through, just creating space to keep the content flowing. The "realization" was the first step… Thanks for being part of that process. I'm lucky to know you.


  4. Hey, KC.

    First off, congratulations on the revelation and being willing and able to embrace it with such fervor. 🙂 This is a wonderful post and I think you highlight some key catalyst points for people to consider, especially people who need to see how to find direction for themselves or to transition into a next step for themselves.

    Over the past ten years or so, I have managed to collect a pretty eclectic bag of tricks and worn a few professional hats simultaneously: operational analyst for a regulated electric utility, acupuncturist and herbalist, graduate student in public administration. This girl has got some mad skills! But what I couldn’t always see in all of this is who I was…what makes me ME. As part of a recent coaching program, I was asked to do a similar questionnaire with four questions to ask of other people, primarily around what I do best and what they appreciate most about me. What was amazing about this exercise for me was it didn’t matter WHO I asked — patients, colleagues, or family — they all said the same four things: empathy/compassion, communication, analysis, coaching/training. And now it is just so clear to me each day what I am supposed to do, no matter what environment I am in or what hat I am wearing. I know that the work I was created to do is to use my empathy and compassion to elicit information from people on what they are trying to do, analyze strategically how to make things better, and use my communication skills to educate them on how to implement these strategies. And I am working consciously towards manifesting a professional life that maximizes these things exclusively and leaves the rest by the wayside so I am always working in my “zone”.

    Thanks so much for you unbridled enthusiasm and support for all of us looking for our way in the world. I always enjoy your pieces. 🙂

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